“Whoever is faithful in a very little is faithful also, in much ….”
Luke 16:10a, NRSV
“Small talk is a fundamental practice of hospitality. We might not think of hospitality as something occurring away from home or something we carry along with us, but Jesus’ whole calling involved this kind of itinerant hospitality. Whether among strangers or friends, he welcomed his listeners with a recognition of their mutual context and a particular concern for their individual needs. He calls us to follow him in a daily practice creating contexts of welcome, and small talk is the key to creating contexts sturdy enough to foster serious conversation.”
Wendy Hoashi-Erhardt
I dreaded attending parties when I was in my teens. Mostly because I didn’t know how to engage in ‘small talk.’
My Dad and Mom were good at it. I watched them talk with strangers and acquaintances everywhere we went with ease. It took me some time to learn how to do it.
By the time I was in seminary, I had become more comfortable speaking with someone without getting into serious topics. Phrases like, “How are you?” “Nice weather” or a simple “Hi!” would be my go-to conversation starters.
As a diagnosed ‘socially-bold introvert,’ I have been blessed to receive and give the gift of small talk. I recently greeted a person in the hospital elevator with my usual, “How are you?”
The person responded with, “I’m fine, thank you. And you?”
Within the few minutes on our way up, we found out that we both had family members with broken legs!
When we finally parted ways, the person looked at me with a smile and said, “Please give your husband a hug from me. I hope he feels better soon.”
I will probably not see this person again, but for a brief moment, we had lifted each other’s spirits like old friends.
We could have chosen to quietly stand inside the metal box that was moving us up to our destinations. Instead, we decided to engage in small talk.
As a result, we had offered the gift of hospitality to each other: a stranger welcoming another stranger that brought smiles to our faces even for a short time.
Wendy Hoashi-Erhardt wrote in her article “Small Talk is Not Small,”
Broken situations are all around us. And following Jesus demands that we stay engaged, awake and watchful for the fulfillment of God’s good purposes. But it does not mean we need to lunge for that spiritual jugular when a drop of balm will do. Small talk, polite and sympathetic, reflects a kind of attentiveness, a curiosity that expects the good in every encounter. Sometimes those encounters will be unremarkable, but sometimes they will bear marvelous fruit.
We live in a society where many people hold strong opinions about many things that have divided us: Covid-19; the economy; politics; the January 6 uprising; gun laws; just recently, the Supreme Court decision to overturn Roe v. Wade, and many more.
Within the universal Christian church, we have our share of hot topics that have continued to divide us. Among our friends and family circles, we try to avoid conversations that will be met with stony silence or heated arguments.
Perhaps engaging in small talk can be a way of extending hospitality to someone tired, weary, and exhausted from all these combative clashes of ideas.
Yes, there is a time and place for serious engagement and discussion on these important issues affecting our generation and the succeeding generations.
But I also believe there is always room for a pause, to take a step back and keep things light.
In my own experience, I am learning, as Wendy Hoashi-Erhardt puts it, that “small talk is the key to creating contexts sturdy enough to foster serious conversation.”
This summer, as we take time to slow down, I invite you to consider taking a chance to engage in small talk with friends and strangers alike.
In doing so, may it open opportunities for you to give and receive the gift of hospitality and perhaps respectful and fruitful dialogue.
May it also give you a chance to share the love of Jesus and be an ambassador of goodwill for our church.
Have a safe, healthy, and relaxing summer!
May God bless and bring you many times of refreshing.
Yours in Christ’s love,
Pastor Carla
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