“A Father’s Story of Resilience and Kindness”
Famous Opening Lines in a Book:
“Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”
- Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy
“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times …”
- A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens
“Call me Ishmael.”
- Moby Dick by Herman Melville
“… I am Joseph. Is my father still alive?”
- Genesis 45:3b, The Holy Bible
There are three things about my father that I will always remember: he loved to read books, recite poems and tell stories about his childhood. I have recorded some of his stories in cassette tapes that I hope to transcribe some day for future generations of Romarates. Because of his storytelling, I found out that he did not grow up with a father. Nor did his father and his grandfather. His father died of an undiagnosed illness when he was very young. His grandfather died defending his homeland from American occupying forces in the early 1900’s. And his great-grandfather died fighting for independence from Spain in the late 1800’s. After his father’s death he had to step up as the first born and help his mother take care of his two other siblings.. During World War II, he was his mother’s assistant, carrying heavy loads while walking over 30 miles on foot from one town to another, hiking up the mountains to hide. He learned how to forage for food in the forest, do odd jobs for farmers, and take care of carabaos (water buffaloes).. They did not stay in the same town for a long time. Most of their relatives were generous and caring, but not all were kind to them. But I never heard my father complain or speak badly about those who had not treated him and his siblings well. Even with these difficulties, my father shared that his mother, he, his younger brother and sister had some happy times together.
The most important lesson that I learned from his stories can be summarized in two words: “BE KIND.” And what he meant by this was, be kind even to those who have not been kind to you or treated you badly. When I got older, I began to recognize that although my father was not a perfect man, he tried to do his best to follow Jesus’ example of compassion and kindness. In doing so he learned to be resilient and kind even to those who were unkind to him.
In the biblical story of Joseph, the moving scene when Joseph revealed his identity to his brothers showed how Joseph’s experience of injustice, suffering, and loss, did not embitter him, but made him a person who was able to forgive and show kindness even to his brothers who treated him as if he were not family – plotting to murder him but eventually selling him as a slave. Through the many years of one loss after another, Joseph understood that all the trauma and pain that he went through did not harden his heart. God was redeeming and transforming him to be instrumental in saving his family and the Egyptian nation. God was continuing to be faithful in fulfilling his promise that he would make them a great nation and the Messiah, God’s chosen will be born from out of his people to save not just their nation but all who believe in him from every corner of the world.
My father’s experiences and Joseph’s story are sources of inspiration for me in my own journey of grief and loss. In my grieving, I have learned to find ways of showing kindness to others and help those who are in similar journeys of loss. My father’s advice to me and my sisters before he passed 10 years ago was, “No matter what happened at the beginning or the middle, try to finish well.” By God’s grace, I hope that like my father, when my time comes to leave this life, I could look back with gratitude to all the kindness I have received; and hope that I was able to live a life of kindness and finished well, by God’s grace.
This month of June, when we celebrate and honor our fathers as well as our graduates, I would like to encourage everyone, including our church family to remember and reflect on how God has been faithful and kind to you and your family through the years. I also invite you to do the same for our Central Baptist Church family. I also recognize that we are mourning our losses and grieve those who have passed on, leaving us behind to wrestle with the pain and the longing for them. We grieve the loss of a way of life and our church that is declining in age and numbers, even prior to the pandemic. But on the other hand, I dare to believe that “we are more than conquerors through Christ who loved us and gave his life for us.” (Romans 8:37) Yes, we need to face the realities of the present, to pray, even cry out to God to help us and show us what we could be in the present, so that we can plan and act accordingly for the future. As we do so, let us remember that Jesus is the head of our household of faith; we have a heavenly Father who provides for us and cares for us, and the gift of the Holy Spirit to comfort and guide us. Let us then move forward trusting God to lead us in showing compassion and kindness to all, especially those in God’s family.
Yours in Christ,
Pastor Carla
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