“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”
Jeremiah 29:11-13, NKJV
“…it is always in the question mark, where the Spirit is most active in reshaping, recreating our lives.” – Rev. Dr. A. Roy Medley.
In March 2000, Pastor Dave shared an excerpt from a message that Rev. Dr. A. Roy Medley wrote for the ABCNJ newsletter. He asked me to reflect on Dr. Medley’s message and think about how it may help us discern God’s direction when we begin our life as a married couple committed to serving God as ministers of the Gospel.
Dr. Medley was then serving as the ABCNJ Executive Minister prior to him being appointed as General Secretary of the American Baptist Churches USA. In his message, Dr. Medley wrote:
“Nothing is harder for me than those moments when God is at work shaping new directions or new aspects of faithfulness in my life. I call it living in the question mark. Earlier Christians call it the desert experience.
The ironic thing about living in the question mark …is that it can be occasioned by either a lack of certainty about the future and God’s will OR by a clarity about God’s will but a reluctance to go there. In the one instance, the very unknown of the future sends one’s heart searching, yearning for a definitive sign from God (there’s some of Gideon in all of us).
Sometimes it’s due to an ending or [a] sense of completion – a job, a divorce, a pastoral call – and the question, ‘Where do I go from here?’ Other times it is brought on not by the obscure face of the future, but by the very clarity of God’s call, which is disturbing, [and] disruptive to our lives. Here, what God calls one to, raises the question, ‘Am I able? Am I willing?’ – ‘Father, if You are willing, remove this cup from me.’
Living the question is never easy.
In hindsight, though, it is always here in the question mark where the Spirit is most active in reshaping, recreating our lives. Just as the very fluidity of pre-creation without form or shape was the occasion of the Spirit’s work, so it is the unknown of the question mark with its openness to the new which allows the Spirit to mold us.
Our Lord beckons us to join God in the desert, in the question mark, to discover new paths of faithfulness, and in sweet surrender, to embrace a new life as we whisper, ‘not my will but Yours.’
Twenty-three years ago, Pastor Dave and I began our journey of living in the question. We took many steps of surrender to God.
There were times when we stepped out boldly, such as getting married after a fast-tracked courtship that surprised us with so much joy.
Then there were a couple of years when we were not so enthusiastic about following God’s lead, but we chose to trust God, who promised to be with us as we moved forward into the unknown.
Three years before God led us to Woodbury, we were in a waiting period that made us feel uncomfortable and, at times, frustrated. But God continued to show us the way, and we chose to follow God by faith, one day at a time.
There have been mountain peaks and valleys since we began our ministry partnership, and here at Central Baptist Church, we have experienced God’s love and grace, seeing us through joyful and sad times.
When Pastor Dave died in July last year, I found myself in the most challenging ‘living in the question’ moment. The deep grief that has come upon me could sometimes be overwhelming and occasionally paralyzing (one of Pastor Dave’s favorite words in his sermons).
This does not make surrendering to God easy. It is not easy as an individual believer. It is not easy as God’s gathered people – the church.
But every day, I choose to take the step forward with faith and God’s grace. This is the reality that I need God’s strength to face and accept.
Another reality we face as a church family is the uncomfortable challenge of living in the question: the decline in attendance that resulted in the inability to generate sustainable financial resources to support our various ministries is not in the distant future.
It is upon us. So, we have a choice.
We can succumb to despair or choose to surrender to God and move forward with openness to the Holy Spirit’s recreating and renewing power to lead us into a future filled with hope.
This new year 2023, I strongly encourage each of you to make time to seriously consider how God is calling you to respond not just as a member of Central Baptist Church but as the beloved son and daughter of God who is gifted and called by God to serve and be a blessing to many, starting with your family, our church family and our community.
The new year is a great opportunity for each of us to rededicate ourselves to God and God’s church and, in particular Central Baptist Church.
I invite you to join me in our prayerful discernment, planning, and implementation of what God’s Spirit directs us to do as a united Body of Christ so that starting in 2023, we can claim a future that is full of hope that God intends for us.
May the God of All Times, Bless Us and Send us forth into the New Year with Faith, Hope, and Love!
A Blessed Epiphany and Happy New Year to You All!
Yours In Christ’s Peace and Love,
Pastor Carla
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